The last blog was discussing some of the ways which can help one deal with the loss of a loved one.
Another thing which encourages a person to adopt patience is to understand that their loved one has moved onto something much better than this temporal world. Yes, people cannot guarantee who will enter Paradise or Hell but it is a teaching of Islam to always have hope in the infinite mercy and forgiveness of Allah, the Exalted. Chapter 39 Az Zumar, verse 53:
“Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins…””
In fact, no one has the right to restrict the infinite mercy and forgiveness of Allah, the Exalted. Therefore, one should always hope that Allah, the Exalted, will forgive their loved one and enter them into Paradise on the Day of Judgment. Therefore, one should reflect on the difficulties of the material world and be pleased that their loved one has escaped them and arrived to the mercy of Allah, the Exalted. This attitude is more apparent and obvious to those who passed away in their childhood. As there is no doubt all children will directly enter Paradise. This is confirmed in many places such as the Hadith found in Sahih Bukhari, number 7047.
It is important to note, that as advised in a Hadith found in Sahih Bukhari, number 1302, true patience is shown throughout a calamity meaning, from the very onset of the difficulty onwards. Accepting the reality of losing a loved one with the passing of time occurs with everyone. This is acceptance not true patience.
It is important to address a common misconception in Islam. Some believe it is not permitted to cry over the deceased. This is incorrect as the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, cried on many occasions when someone passed away. For example, he wept when his son Ibrahim, may Allah be pleased with him, passed away. This is confirmed in a Hadith found in Sunan Abu Dawud, number 3126.
In fact, crying over someone’s death is a sign of mercy which Allah, the Exalted, has placed in the hearts of His servants. And only those who show mercy to others will be shown mercy by Allah, the Exalted. This has been advised by the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, in a Hadith found in Sahih Bukhari, number 1284. This same Hadith clearly mentions that the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, cried over his grandson who had passed away.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, also wept when one of his Companions, may Allah be pleased with him, was close to death and clearly advised in this Hadith found in Sahih Muslim, number 2137, that a person will not be punished for crying over the death of someone or the grief they feel in their heart. But they may well face punishment if they utter words showing their impatience with the decree of Allah, the Exalted.
It is clear that feeling grief in one’s heart or shedding tears is not prohibited in Islam. The things which are prohibited are wailing, showing one’s impatience through words or actions, such as tearing one’s clothes in grief. They are severe warnings against those who act in this way. Therefore, one should avoid these actions at all costs. Not only may a person face punishment for acting in this way but if the deceased desired and commanded others to act like this when they passed away they too will be held accountable. But if the deceased did not desire this then they are free of any accountability. This is confirmed in a Hadith found in Jami At Tirmidhi, number 1006. It is common sense to understand that Allah, the Exalted, would not punish someone because of the actions of another when the former did not advise them to act in that manner.
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