The last blog was discussing the importance of good companionship within marriage.
Another element of good companionship between a married couple is kind treatment. Not only should a person show kind treatment to their spouse through their words but also through their actions. In fact, the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, has advised in a Hadith found in Jami At Tirmidhi, number 3895, that the best man is the one who treats their wife kindly. Therefore, a muslim will never perfect their character until they treat their spouse kindly even if they treat others with respect and kindness. The rights of all people must be fulfilled one cannot expect success by fulfilling the rights of some relatives and ignore the rights of others. A true muslim strives to fulfil all the rights appointed to them by Allah, the Exalted.
In a Hadith found in Jami At Tirmidhi, number 2003, the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, advised that the heaviest thing in the Scales of Judgment Day will be good character. It is therefore essential for muslims to adopt this behaviour especially, with their relatives, such as their spouse. It is clear hypocrisy to treat the outside world with kindness and treat one’s own family, such as one’s spouse unkindly. This person is only following their own desires and not Islamic teachings. This two faced person will eventually be exposed and disgraced in this world and they will encounter a great punishment in the next world unless they sincerely repent.
An aspect of kind treatment in marriage is that each spouse should aid each other in the house chores. In fact, the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, would help his family with the house chores thereby proving these chores are gender neutral. This is confirmed in a Hadith found in Sahih Bukhari, number 6039. But it is important to note, that a muslim should correctly follow the tradition of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and not follow their own desires. This Hadith clearly adds that when it was time for the obligatory prayer he would leave for the Mosque. This clearly indicates that helping with house chores is important but the obligatory prayer with congregation at the Mosque is more important. Each tradition is prioritised and one should follow this order correctly and not cherry pick which traditions they desire to follow.
Another aspect of kind treatment is showing affection to one another. This does not reduce the manliness of a husband by doing so. It is a way to demonstrate to one’s spouse that they have an important place in their life. This increases love and kind treatment amongst a married couple. But it is important to note, that modesty should always be maintained especially, in front of others. This is why it is important for a married couple to have a private space within their home where they can spend some private time together during the day.
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