The next aspect of raising pious children is for a parent to set a good example. All parents desire for their child to be pious but this is unlikely to occur if they themselves possess bad character. Many parents often complain when they children to do not offer the obligatory prayers. And in many cases, the parents themselves have not established their prayers. If parents do not control their tongues how can they expect their children to do so? Children imitate their parents, if their parents pay little respect to adopting piety, in most cases, so will their children. Therefore, it is important for parents to practice what they preach. No one is demanding perfection but they must strive to fulfil their obligatory duties at all costs and act on as much of the established traditions of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, as possible. This correct attitude will encourage their children to do the same.
It is lethal to ignore raising one’s children in a good way from a young age while believing they will adopt good character when they become older. It is much more difficult for older children to change their character compared to younger children. Therefore, parents must ensure they teach and guide them from a young age. This is why the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, advised muslims in a Hadith found in Sunan Abu Dawud, number 495, to encourage their children to offer their prayers before they become mature and it becomes obligatory on them. This Hadith can and should be applied to all aspects of a child’s life. This early preparation ensures children adopt good character before they become set in their ways. It is not a secret that changing one’s character for the better after they become set in their ways is a very difficult challenge.
An aspect of raising children in the correct way is to constantly encourage them towards good behaviour in a kind loving manner. In most cases, aggression will only push a child away from what the parent desires. As advised in a Hadith found in Sahih Muslim, number 6601, Allah, the Exalted, prefers kindness. A family will therefore, be more blessed when they treat each other with kindness. Only on rare cases should aggression be used but even then it must be controlled by only being used in a parent’s tone not their physical actions. This is similar to punishing a child within limits when showing kindness will not help, such as grounding the child. But in most cases, kindness is preferred and should be shown in words and actions, such as rewarding children who have behaved well with gifts. Giving gifts for no reason can spoil children but rewarding them for doing well for example, in school, is an important aspect in raising pious children.
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