I read a news article a while ago, which I wanted to briefly discuss. It reported on a mother who discussed how her son’s behavior towards her changed after he got married. He neglected his mother and rarely contacted her after he moved away with his wife. But this mother learnt to live with what happened and claimed to understand that people come and go.
The important lesson to learn from this is that when a muslim is blessed with a relationship, such as a child or a sibling, they should understand the true purpose of that relationship and act accordingly. In each case, they should learn and fulfill their responsibilities towards them according to the teachings of Islam to the best of their ability. But more importantly do all this for the sake of Allah, the Exalted, as He is the One who has commanded them to fulfill the rights of the people in their lives. If one genuinely acts for the sake of Allah, the Exalted, they will never expect nor demand anything from people. They will not overly rejoice when people do things for them, such as showing gratitude, nor will they grieve if they neglect them. As they fulfilled the rights of the person for the sake of Allah, the Exalted, they only seek reward from Allah, the Exalted, not people. This would prevent a person becoming sad or depressed if their relative or friend neglected them after years of helping them. Unfortunately, many muslims form relationships with the wrong intention. They get married and have children for the sake of receiving something back from their spouse and children. In most cases, especially in this day and age, they will be left disappointed if they adopt this attitude. It is important for each muslim to correct their intention and connect with people and forge relationships for the sake of Allah, the Exalted, and therefore only seek benefit and reward from Him. Whoever acts in this manner proves that they have put their trust in Allah, Exalted. The one who puts their trust in Allah, the Exalted, will not be let down in this world or the next. Chapter 65 At Talaq, verse 3:
“…And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him…”
Whoever adopts the incorrect intention and forms relationships for the sake of gaining a return from people have put their trust in people. And whoever relies and puts their trust in people will be let down, sooner or later. Chapter 22 Al Hajj, verse 73:
“Weak (indeed) are the seeker and the sought!”
This discussion does not mean a muslim should not be grateful to others for what they have done for them, as this is a part of thanking Allah, the Exalted, according to a Hadith found in Jami At Tirmidhi, number 1954. But it means if someone does not appreciate a muslim for what they have done, they should not be bothered by it, as they should be hoping for a return and reward from Allah, the Exalted, not people.
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