Best Conduct –
Before the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, departed Medina for the expedition which became the Battle of Badr, he ordered his son-in-law Uthman Bin Affan, may Allah be pleased with him, to stay in Medina and nurse his wife, the daughter of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, Ruqayya, may Allah be pleased with her, as she was severely sick and eventually passed away from this sickness. On his return to Medina after the Battle of Badr, the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, gave Uthman, may Allah be pleased with him, a share of the war spoils thereby clearly indicating that he was considered a participant of the Battle of Badr. This has been discussed in Imam Ibn Kathir’s, the Life of the Prophet, Volume 2, Page 315.
Even though leaving on an expedition with the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was important yet Uthman, may Allah be pleased with him, was commanded to remain behind to take care of his sick wife. Muslims must therefore strive in fulfilling the rights of others, such as their family, as well as striving to fulfil the rights of Allah, the Exalted, as both are needed in order to obtain success.
In a Hadith found in Jami At Tirmidhi, number 2612, the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, advised that the one who possesses complete faith is the one who is best in conduct and most kind to their family.
Sadly, some have adopted the bad habit of treating non-relatives in a kind manner, while mistreating their own family. They behave in this manner as they do not understand the importance of treating one’s own family kindly and as they fail to appreciate their family. A muslim will never achieve success until they fulfill both aspects of faith. The first is fulfilling their duties towards Allah, the Exalted, by fulfilling His commands, refraining from His prohibitions and by facing destiny with patience according to the traditions of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him. This will ensure they use all the blessings they have been granted in ways pleasing to Allah, the Exalted.
The second is to fulfill the rights of people, which includes treating them kindly. None have more right to this kind treatment than one’s own family. A muslim must aid their family in all matters which are good and warn them against bad things and practices in a gentle way, according to the teachings of Islam. They should not blindly support them in bad things simply because they are their relatives nor should they fail to help them in good matters because of some ill feelings towards them, as this contradicts Islamic teachings. Chapter 5 Al Ma’idah, verse 2:
“…And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression…”
The best way to guide others is through a practical example, as this is the tradition of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and is much more effective than just verbal guidance.
One must learn the rights they are owed and the rights they owe others, especially their relatives, to ensure they fulfill them. A Muslim must always remember that Allah, the Exalted, will ask each person whether they fulfilled the rights of others, He will not ask them if people fulfilled their rights. Therefore, one must be concerned about what they will be questioned about, meaning, the rights of others, and therefore strive to fulfill them according to the teachings of Islam.
Finally, one should generally choose gentleness in all matters especially, when dealing with their family. Even if their commit sins they should be warned in a gentle manner and still be aided in matters which are good, as this kindness is more effective in bringing them back to the obedience of Allah, the Exalted, than treating them harshly.
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